Low Expectations And Manifestation
A Dating and Manifestation Story
After learning many lesson of manifestation in other words manifesting, Katy came knocking at my door unexpectedly. It was almost midnight and almost past the bedtime hour for the 34-year-old me.
“I’m so tired” were the first words she blasted out while throwing her bag in the other side of the couch and sinking in.
“I’m feel like I’m doing everything right. Manifestation classes, metaphysical courses, 10 rose quartz crystals in my bag, 2 in my bra and 1 on my neck, tarot card readings every week, 3 dating apps, hundreds of dollars on makeup and self-improvement classes and yoga & meditation classes and I could go on. My psychic is richer than me. But nothing I do seems to work.”
“Take a deep breath and tell me what happened,” I saidas I put my cardigan on and brace myself for a long night.
“Ryan stood me up. Again!” She whispers as her eyes fill with tears. “I’m just so tired. We had an amazing first date, but you know everything about it already, and he keeps rescheduling the second date.
“I did everything by the book: gave him space, let him take the lead so he doesn’t feel emasculated. Focusing on manifesting the man of my dreams. And I wore that pink flattering dress and my most expensive shoes, I was funny and witty and charming. What the hell is happening here? Why do none of my stories go right?” Katy took a quick breath.
The Manifesting Debacle Continues
She continued, “I try and I try and I try and it seems the more I try the less I succeed. Today he told me that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he called saying he found oil in his coolant in his car and he can’t come pick me up and need to reschedule. What the fuck does that even mean?”
“I have no idea but that sounds bad,” I say. “But maybe he’s not lying. Maybe he really can’t come and see you.”
“It’s the third time Rora” she took a deep breath. “I really thought this time he was the right one. Help me! I want to stop looking, to wake up one day and he’s just there. I’m tired and want to stop trying.”
Manifesting by Lowering Expectations
“Have you tried lowering your expectations?” I ask.
“What do you mean by THAT?” she whispered. “Weren’t you the one telling me that I can manifest the man of my dreams? Isn’t lowering expectations the exact opposite of that?”
Hearing the frustration in her voice, I said, “Well, not exactly. There’s a fine line between the lowered expectations and manifestation, for sure, But I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive either.
Letting Go to Manifest
“You see, there’s an element of letting go in every manifestation. Let’s say you make a list of everything you want in a man. This list is very detailed. It goes into everything including how much hair he has and how much money he makes. Once you’re done with it though you put it in a closet and forget about it.
“You make the manifesting list, but then it’s necessary to forget about the list. It is helpful to put your faith in the universe and feel sure that this man will come.
“It’s wise not to doubt it. Someone wouldn’t keep looking at the desired manifestation list every morning and repeat like a mantra ‘no hair, no hair, please.’ The universe knows.
“Katy, what you keep doing is looking and comparing and looking again. With every manifesting class you make your expectations and then they keep getting higher. With every penny you invest in your future man, you expect him to be flawless to make no mistakes, have no accidents, make you his absolute priority.
“You’re putting way too many expectations on this man who hasn’t had time to get to know you yet. Maybe you feel like he owes you his time and money because you’ve already invested so much of your time, effort and money. There may also be a chance you feel like you no longer have time for mistakes or experimentation or adventures.
“Do you want to make sure that this man is the right one, so much so that you forgot your original purpose? Remember, your original manifestation: meeting up with a cool person and getting to know him.
“And you did! Ryan is funny and charming and he checks most of the things on your list so far.”
Try Lowering Your Expectations
“Try lowering your expectations. It may sound counter-intuitive, but it works. Don’t expect him to be perfect. To always smell good and never have bad days.
“Your manifesting expectations were high when you expected him to come pick you up and were disappointed at the cancelled. You could have taken a taxi and met him halfway. The first time he cancelled he had to drive his grandmother to the hospital. That doesn’t sound like fun. But he’s also been talking to you every day and he seems genuinely excited to get to know you.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Katy spoke in a calmer tone, “How can I manifest a great second date though, but also lower my expectations of a great second date?”
My heart went out to her as I leaned in softly saying, “Hmm, that’s a good question. I’d say go to this date with an open heart and with the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his oil coolant thing is a big deal. But also, clearly state what is and isn’t a big deal for you. Be clear about your intentions. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Consider the fact that he might not be the man of your dreams. Maybe he’s just a man with his flaws and virtues. Get to know him for who he is. Only then can you decide if he’s right for you or not.”
“So, you’re saying hope for an amazing second date but don’t expect it?” She wondered aloud.
“Yes, exactly. Imagine this beautiful amazing date with a fun guy, but if it doesn’t turn out right at least you know you’ve tried and don’t regret anything. Don’t assume things will turn out exactly the way you want it.”
“Alright,” she agreed. “I’ll give that a try, but if this doesn’t work, Aurora, you owe me a psychic reading.”
“Deal,” I say as we part ways, I whisper, “Good luck”.
Manifesting Into Reality
The next morning, I wake up to a text message. “RORAAA GUESS WHAT?”
I can hear Katy is screaming through the text. “When I came home last night Ryan was waiting for me at the doorstep with a beautiful flower bouquet. Turns out his car thing is pretty serious so he took an Uber here and we spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other. It was magical.”
“I’m so happy for you!” I reply. “What do you think made this date so special?”
“I guess I didn’t expect him to be there in the first place. I was so happy at the surprise that everything else just flowed. And I think I might have manifested a perfect second date. Maybe that’s what it means to manifest and have no expectations. Let life do its magic.”
“I’m very happy that things turned out this way. Guess the way to a happy life really is releasing expectations. But if we can’t do that, guess lowering expectations is the next best thing.” I say as I put my phone down on the night stand.
As I get up to brew some coffee, I think, “I am going to manifest a wonderful day and yet I have no idea how it’s going to look like.”
More About Aurora
Aurora has been consciously manifesting for more than a decade. The lessons she’s gathered in manifestation has made her a great teacher on the subject. Check out all of Aurora’s classes.